What are your: Personal Training Goals……..
Almost every single person I have ever done a “1st consultation” Personal Training session with gets quite uncomfortable when I ask what their Personal Training goals are?
For the last few years, we have had “life coaches” and other assorted “personal development” style coaches telling us all about our goals, how to set them, how to structure them, how to write them down and most importantly how to tell “everyone” around us what they are.
So that we feel good about ourselves based on what others think of us.
I think this has lead to a bit of an unhealthy obsession with achievement and that we feel like an absolute failure if we don’t earn £1 million/annum or have a “cover model” physique, that “perfect relationship” or not having enough or the right sort of sex or holidays.
There is still a perception of what a normal life is and if we do not measure up to “other people’s” standards we are left feeling a little empty.
Lesson no. 1 stop worrying what other people think, and start worrying about what you think!
When was the last time you actually sat down and had a think of two things:
What makes me happy? and most importantly am I actually doing it?
It is my personal experience that I had never even considered that until I was around 33. After a great deal of pain and upset in my own life. Only then did I actually start to think about the things that make me happy.
I now do them!
I am a very slow learner and you do not have to wait until that age to start seeking the right things for you. If you honestly don’t know what makes you happy that’s great….. You get to go out into life and try loads of different things until you find the things that make you happy.
It is your goal!
That brings me to my next point, any goal you set in the gym is for you and you alone.
Please please please never set a goal for a boyfriend, girlfriend, mum, dad, or anyone else for that matter. If you are doing something for “someone” else you are not taking personal responsibility for your goal. Further to that, we can then blame them for being too pushy or not supporting us correctly or any number of things that will hold us back.
It is my experience also, that I have set goals to keep someone else happy then I have even ended up resenting them for it and this is not a nice place to be.
If you have a specific goal in mind ask yourself why you have it?
Actually, dig down a little bit into yourself?
I have clients that come to me after surgeries and are looking to get back to doing the things they love. I absolutely love working with these people as they already know what they want to do. Whether it be to start running again after knee surgery, play tennis after a frozen shoulder, to be able to squat without pain after a very serious road traffic accident (I have trained people in all of these situations).
All these people have one thing in common: they “know” what their goal looks like. Also, these people have already figured out what they love, so their actual goal is to get back to what they love. They have high levels of motivation and that drives them forwards. Their “why” is very strong.
Hopefully, you can now see it is so important to find what makes you happy!
What am I set to gain? Rather than what am I missing out on?
I have other clients that have weight loss goals these clients are a little more tricky because they have a perception that they will have to diet(which is hard) exercise (which is hard) stop having fun (which is boring). For these people we need to focus more on what they are to gain from the weight loss, i.e feel happier in clothes, more self-confidence, greater choice of clothes.
Change your perception instead of asking what you are going to miss out on, ask yourself what you will gain from the situation?
Being realistic about time frames for goals:
I have to walk past a newsstand at Clapham, Junction station every day to get to work. I am really saddened by the “female-targeted” magazines, that one week have a celebrity who is overweight and they are mocking them, followed two weeks later by the same celeb after losing a stone and “transformed”. I think this has lead to a complete misunderstanding about what good weight loss is.
Weight loss is perfect if you are hitting no more than a kilo/week and even then that’s on the high end. I always say to my clients even if you lost 1lb/week that’s 52lb/year which is well over 4 stone! The most important thing is that you will have learned the skills in that time to keep it off.
If not you are going to be stuck in that yo-yo for the rest of your time.
What happens if I fail!!!!!!!!!
In my opinion, this question is the one that all people thing but no-one actually wants to say out loud. I think there’s a lot of people that are so fearful of failure that they think it is safer to not try and will save them from the feelings if it doesn’t go perfectly 1st time.
Tony Robbins (a life coach I know!!!!) says “there is no such thing as failure, only results” I absolutely agree with this in the sense that if we don’t get it right the first time we have some data to just go back and try again with.
Life is all about learning, ask yourself this: am I really protecting myself from failure if I do not even try? Or are you even like some people afraid of actually succeeding? And that maybe you don’t feel like you actually deserve to have what makes you happy?
Let me tell you this absolutely everyone deserves to be happy!
I have failed this massive week….. Or have I?
So for those of you who are on my facebook as a friend, I posted on Monday morning that I was giving up coffee. Drastic I know!
Now, to set the scene was drinking about 8 cups of good coffee from a cafetiere every day!
I thought this was a bit silly so decided that I needed to get it out of my life entirely!
By day 2 I had failed on my original goal, I have 2 cups of coffee, and since then I have had 1 cup per day which I have actually really enjoyed.
Did I fail though?
Well yes according to the original goal I did.
However looking back through this article I have realised I probably was unrealistic to set such a large goal. I didn’t really have a very strong “why” other than I was drinking a lot. I was more focused on the losing out rather than what I could gain
Are there positives though?
Yes, I have managed to reduce my coffee drastically and am actually enjoying my one cup so actually, I have done way better than last week.
Sitting here today I am not beating myself up for not doing it, I am simply looking at it for what it is and I am pretty sure I can reduce it a little bit better next week. I am not just going to “give up” because I “failed”.
It has just given me the opportunity to reassess the goal and with more understanding of myself more forwards.
Stop worrying about what others think
It is your goal
Find out what makes you happy, then go do it!
Why do you have your goal?
Look at what you are set to gain?
Set sensible goals
No such thing as failure
Right, before I sign off one more quote. This time from Henry Ford:
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently”